Night time woes

16 Mar

Daylight savings this year has really been the last straw to break my back . Our sleep situation has been terrible the last few months . I elaborate on this below . But the net is we get to bed terribly late and that would be okay if the evening had been productive with a few hours of office work after the kids went to bed , or a clean kitchen or even some snuggle time on the couch . But no, I have really been going to bed feeling I have accomplished nothing in the last few hours . So I get to bed late , take even longer to fall asleep , get up a few times with a Bandar to literally hand her a bottle of whole milk and end up sleeping through my alarm(s) and rely on my body clock to wake me up to finally waking up past 7 am in a panic and ultimately drive Bandar and the hubs up the wall trying to get her to school before the bell , which results in all three of us having a terrible morning . Phew , deep breath ( longest sentence award , anyone ).

It’s been 5 working days of daylight savings this week and our entire family has stirred at 7:30 am or later on 3 of the days and miraculously Bandar makes into school by 8 am and the rest of us have been out before 9 am. But I am really ready to make some changes to this overall situation here . Or rather I have to for the sake of my sanity and that of family members .This might seem fairly obvious but days that start with no shouting from me and happier days for the whole clan .

I am the first to admit our sleeping situation with Beetle needs work . As a reminder Beetle baby is now is 20 months old . We co sleep on a king size mattress after dismantling our tall bed for her safety . Bandar sleeps in a small study like bedroom attached to ours in her canopy princess pink bed . There is a door connecting our rooms that we leave open . We start the going to bed process really late – anywhere between 8:30- 9 pm and when the lights are finally off , Beetle glugs a bottle of whole milk ( ba ba ba ba she screams ) , cuddled against me in bed and then after a resounding burp , she will get off the mattress and totter into her sister ‘s bedroom and start engaging her in conversation. Bandar has been told not to respond to Beetle at this time but of course she does . The few times Bandar has not responded have resulted in Beetle bug giving her a thwack on her face or pulling her hair to extract an answer . So then Bandar will cry and I will get up to comfort her and bring Beetle back . Beetle will come back , sip some more milk and go off again to her sister’s room . At some point I give up trying to get her back and lie down pretending to be asleep and browse mindlessly under the covers on my phone . Beetle will move between the rooms , open drawers here and there in the dark , periodically come back for milk . Oh and I forgot to add this – in a fit of hope a few months ago , we foolishly thought Beetle was ready to transition to the crib converted to toddler bed in her sister’s room . Of course she wasn’t , but we haven’t converted it back to a crib . So every other night , Beetle will ask to sleep on her own bed and we get excited and put her into the toddler bed to only have her cry in a minute to be helped out of it again . But of course , the next time she asks for it , we indulge her again thinking today is the night she is magically ready for the transition . Going back to a regular night of Beetle tottering around in the dark , around 11ish she will come to the mattress and lie herself down . She will ask for milk again – by this time I have usually gone down once already to get a fresh bottle . She will take a few sips, say very clearly “cuddle me amma ” which means she is ready to sleep and finally fall asleep . Other days she has these few sips but instead of cuddling me , she will chose to orient herself with her head on my tummy or on my feet and finally fall asleep . By this time , I have been in bed for about two hours lying noiselessly for the most part and I have no motivation to get up and do any office work or household crap . Not even the temptation of an hour alone with the hubs downstairs stirs me and I continue mindlessly browsing my phone and struggle to fall asleep by 1 am . The H comes to bed sometime between 11 and 1 too and he finds himself a spot on the bed. Miserable situation all around , right ?

What can we do to change this ? Plenty I guess – sleep train Beetle , stop bottles , make bed back into a crib and dump her in there and leave the room, shut down my phone . I know these are the logical things I need to do , I have been postponing them for God knows how long now . I am feeling ready to start small this weekend and am going to start by not touching my phone in the bedroom with the hope that it will actually accelerate the process in some way . We are also seriously considering stopping the night time bottle for Beetle this week but this is a big one that big sis put up a huge fight for at almost 2.5 years . So let’s see how it goes . Wish us luck !

2 Responses to “Night time woes”

  1. princessbutter March 17, 2019 at 5:25 am #

    Sleep is super important and I can absolutely believe in your frustration. Hopefully it’s resolved soon!

  2. Zarine Mohideen April 2, 2019 at 3:37 am #

    Omg I totally feel you. I co sleep with my two year old and although he’s asleep by 9 pm I have no will left to clean the house or work or do anything. I just lay in the dark aimlessly scrolling though my phone until it’s 10 pm and fall asleep. I leave the house early, around 6.30, 7 so husband does morning duties. And even though my body has aches and pains from sharing a bed with the toddler it’s nice to cuddle a warm, tiny body in the beginning of the night! Anyway, I feel validated reading your night time woes!

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