Week 1 with Beetle

29 Jun

Bringing a second child into this world really just makes your heart expand with this additional capacity to love that you never knew you had . And then there’s the added joy of seeing your children interact as siblings and knowing that it’s only the beginning of a beautiful relationship you are going to be able to see grow over the years.

Week 1 with Beetle was hard, painful , joyful and fun,chaotic  all at once ! To start with, I clearly underestimated how hard it would be to add a baby to  our life and go from one kid to two. I always knew Bandar was mature beyond her years and longed for a sibling and assumed the path would smooth once Beetle was home.While Bandar did pretty well with the change , given it’s magnitude , there were a few things we had to work through on Beetle’s first two days home. But we got through it with a game plan and soon had our own sweet Bandar back . 

First, we used Bandar’s reward jar which is essentially a mason jar in which we put in a colored ball for good behavior and remove balls for bad behavior. Once full she gets to choose her treat which is usually some accessory from Target.

 The other is basically me spending one on one time with Bandar everyday, even if just  for 15 mins, on anything of her choosing. This is usually imaginary play that she loves . I try to hand  over Beetle to my mom when I engage Bandar.

I am not naive to think we won’t have any other issues , but I do think we now know how to handle them a bit better than we did on our first day home with Beetle.

Week 1 this time around has been a tad easier with the husbadoo being home the entire week and focusing entirely on the new family unit ,day and night. The last time around with Bandar’s birth , my mom in fact took over all night duties , stationing herself in my bedroom , as it was a busy time in the husbadoo ‘s career and he slept in the guest room and went into work right from the day we got home from the hospital.  I honestly think it led to him and I being disconnected through those first few weeks, mounting tension in the house and flaring tempers. This time around we politely refused my mom’s offer to sleep with Beetle and me and instead urged my mom to sleep for most of the night. As mom is pulling kitchen duty in the daytime, I think this set up let’s her get some rest and also allows the husband and I to be a strong joint force together for most of the night as we deal with the many feedings and other trials.There is a great comfort in just finishing a long exhausting feeding, placing a sleepy baby in the bassinet and fall asleep for a few hours holding hands with your spouse who has weathered the long day with you. 

Having him around has done wonders for  my mood and emotional recovery . I am happy to say that tempers have been in check this week and I actually feel closer to the husband than ever before. Something of course to do with seeing the love of your life transform into a wonderful father for the second time around . At our first pediatrician appointment this week, I looked up between filling forms , and instead of this charming boy who I had fallen in love with at 19 , I saw an attractive man who still gives me the butterflies , especially now that he is sprouting a good mix of grey in his mop of hair ,  holding an infant car seat in one hand and engaging our 4 year old. This scene is one I will keep going back to in my head in the years to come and it undoubtedly reinforces my believe that I choose well and that the last 12 years have been s wonderful journey to get us to this point.

Postpartum recovery is a bitch. There are no two ways about it. I am having a harder time this around and it’s simply because of the nature of the tearing and wounds this time around ( don’t read if this stuff makes you squeamish). I have shed many tears of self pity through this week and have finally decided to just give it time. I  look forward to simple things like sitting up without painkillers and a waffle pillow, going down stairs , a poop without fear and many other things of the same nature. From what I have read , 2 weeks seems to be the magic number and I am being as patient as I can with my recovery. At the end of week 1, I am finally seeing a very slight improvement and have a glimpse at some light at the end of the tunnel. 

Breastfeeding – the gift that keeps giving! I had forgotten how excrutiatingly painful it is to me physically . Undoubtedly we have some latching issues that I will probably have to get some help with soon. And then there is cluster feeding which I am trying to be a champ about this time around but my enthusiasm to provide what I can for my child at 3 am is very different than at 3 pm! 

Beetle herself is a joy to hold and cuddle. I had forgotten the wonderful skin to skin time and how having a newborn on your chest feels like and this time around I am cherishing and holding on to all of it . Ah and the wonderful baby smell , soft skin , newborn reflexes and confused stares . It all seems more precious and fleeting this time around. 

Having my mom here has been a comfort in more ways than one. She is more than ready to help in anything baby related and between her and the husbadoo ,I am yet to even change a single diaper myself ! She is also the one person in the world who cares about me more than the kids and everything she wants me to eat or follow for this postpartum period is purely with my interest in mind. So I am playing along and letting her pamper me in the way that she knows.I will miss her immensely when she leaves in a few weeks .

So that was our week 1 !

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5 Responses to “Week 1 with Beetle”

  1. More than words June 30, 2017 at 3:21 am #

    Such a heartwarming post P !! Wishing you a speedy recovery!!

  2. princessbutter July 6, 2017 at 9:37 pm #

    This is so beautiful! Waiting for Beetle and Bandar to start interacting. šŸ™‚ Will be so precious!

  3. Dil On The Rocks July 19, 2017 at 1:04 pm #

    Oh boy. I am remembering all the baby days. Glad you have help. Bandar is going to be a great sis. šŸ˜ƒ

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