3 Feb

I have lived in the US for 10 years now and have never once been groped , eve teased , sexually assaulted in any way until this last week. I have lived in shady parts of Atlanta and in NYC (not so shady parts  but  NYC all the same )and never encountered any situation that made me uncomfortable. And to think that I recently  encountered this nastiness in a supposedly safe suburb in San Diego last week.

I usually buy groceries on Wednesdays , as it is the say before my cook comes. I stop over to get my haul right before picking up Bandar as I think the whole process is fastest when it’s me alone. I am usually in and out the store in 15 minutes.  I walked into the store and saw this man of Hispanic origin coming up. The only thing I really noticed about him was the fact that he had his hands empty. Not bag or grocery item at all.  He made eye contact with me and gave me a disgusting smile.I looked away and went slightly to the right hand side to pick up a cart. He passed by me with his hands swinging and neatly felt me up my ass. It was so quick and sudden that I could barely react. Before I knew it he was out of the store and all I saw was his lecherous grin as he turned to his left past the shop door. ” What the hell, asshole” I yelled. It took me a good 30 seconds  to formulate a thought on what had happened and I felt helpless. I think he heard me , but I am not sure I was loud enough.

 The strange part was no one else saw any of this happen at all. It had been only me and him for those few seconds at the store foyer. 

Feeling disgusted, I pushed my cart into the store and started shopping. I briefly wondered if he had rubbed by me to steal something from my crossbody handbag.But no , everything was in and safe.It had been done deliberately to touch me. I felt grossed out in every way possible. The last time I remember being eve teased was maybe when I was 13  years old on the streets of Mumbai , shopping at colaba causeway . But the memory of it is so vague in my head now almost 12 years later.

The husband thinks I should have smacked with my bag but I hardly think that would have worked. What does one even do when this happens when you didn’t really take any sort of action immediately after it happened? And what action could I have really taken even then? 


15 Responses to “Groped ”

  1. Bhavani February 3, 2017 at 11:02 pm #

    Oh my god Pop that is disgusting..what an assh.. I have lived only in CA all my 17 yrs in the US and have never once faced this….

    I think anyone would be too shocked for a few seconds before we can even react..i would have felt exactly the same as you felt….late reaction and feeling terrible is all I can do…

    I am so sorry this happened to you….


    • popgoesthebiscuit February 4, 2017 at 12:10 am #

      Guess there are worse things out there – people get raped and I am making a big deal about groping. But ya it does gross me out and really cannot think how else I should have reacted.

      • Dil On The Rocks February 5, 2017 at 2:21 am #

        It’s a big deal P. Because it’s not okay. You are right in speaking out.

      • popgoesthebiscuit February 11, 2017 at 3:25 am #

        Guess I did too little too late. But at that point it’s just hard

  2. princessbutter February 4, 2017 at 12:46 am #

    Ughhh! It is a terrible thing to happen and you aren’t wrong about talking about it. I have a lot to say about what you should have done, but it’s so hard to react quickly in such a situation!! Whenever this has happened to me(in India) I have almost never reacted correctly or aggressively, except once in the pune-lonavala local.
    Disgusting person, hope he $@%#^£!

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 4, 2017 at 11:06 am #

      In India you almost expect it in a crowded place. Here you don’t . Hence the delayed reaction. Ughj

  3. Titaxy February 4, 2017 at 2:25 am #

    So sorry this happened to you, Pop.
    I can understand how shocking this must be. Many hugs.

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 4, 2017 at 11:07 am #

      Ya bit of a shock that it actually can happen however old you are and whenever and wherever

  4. Meena February 4, 2017 at 10:33 am #

    I am so sorry to hear this. I understand when you say it was too quick for you to react. May be next time you encounter creepy people, turn around and leave and come back later. I know that sounds cowardly but I cant think of anything else to tell you. Don’t blame yourself.

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 4, 2017 at 11:08 am #

      Ya, didn’t even think for a second that the creep could do anything beyond eye contact. Not blaming myself for having it happen to me but more about wish I had reacted more immediately or done something then and there. But guess bygones..

  5. Dil On The Rocks February 5, 2017 at 2:19 am #

    So sorry this happened to you P. 😞 I don’t know what else to say. It’s hard to absorb something like this happened to you and react accordingly at the moment. Try to forget.

  6. anisnest February 6, 2017 at 4:39 am #

    hugs Pop.. shocked and sorry to hear this.. I would have reacted the same way as you too..

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 11, 2017 at 3:22 am #

      Sad my reaction was too mild and too late. Anyway it’s done. Need to be better prepared for this in the future

  7. Dee February 7, 2017 at 1:47 am #

    You poor thing! I encountered something 16 years ago here in US. Thankfully, I was not groped. It was a hot sunny afternoon and I was walking back home from the library. I was new to US and was a stay at home wife for a year, so I used to read up a lot of books to keep me busy during the day. While I was walking back home, I saw three mexican gardeners and they kept saying something and started laughing lecherously. One of them started walking close to me, I started running and went to the rental office. I even complained about those guys. I then went home opened a spanish to english dictionary to understand the words they had used, it turned out to be outright sexual innuendos. I was so scared. I never went out after that and would bolt the door and place a chair by the door.

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 11, 2017 at 3:24 am #

      Can imagine your fear of being followed home. Also dealing with this when you were new to the US is indeed scary

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