Day 5 – Standing by our friends 

6 Jan

Bandar has one little Desi friend in school – a girl called V. On occasion , I have frowned upon this friendship mainly because V , though not a full blown bully,  definitely exercises some power over Bandar, often influencing her to not play with anyone else and ostracising her when she does. She has brought Bandar to tears over telling her things like  ” Indians don’t eat Mac and Cheese” or ” You are not American , you are Indian like me” ( all clearly things V is learning at home , so I blame the parents )  Plus,  V on occasion has been incredibly rude to me when I have gone to pick up Bandar . I.definitely don’t want Bandar talking to any grown up that way and this is only one of the many reasons I do not think she is the right best friend for Bandar to have. I , was in fact relieved that V was in India on vacation for a good month, thus allowing Bandar to mingle with the rest of her class and explore new healthier friendships.Bandar did make new friends that month  but nevertheless missed V and anticipated her return  a good bit.

V returned recently and has come back freshly tonsured with no hair. Apparently one of the other kids laughed at V and Bandar told him off! In her words -” Lex laughed at V today . He said she has no hair .But I just told him she will have hair soon. You know it’s growing back so fast !”

This whole exchange made me swell with motherly pride. Though we have spoken to Bandar about standing up for herself , we have never really told her to stand up for her friends or the underdog and here she was doing exactly that. You always want your children to be good people and try and teach them these life lessons everyday. Yet, you never know atleast when the child is of age 4 , how much of it they really grasp and if they will follow through when the situation arises.

I am still not thrilled about this friendship but I am glad my little monkey can be trusted to say and do the right thing, well most of the time any way.

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10 Responses to “Day 5 – Standing by our friends ”

  1. princessbutter January 6, 2017 at 10:34 pm #

    This is so cute! She is really growing up.

  2. perspectivesandprejudices January 6, 2017 at 11:30 pm #

    That is such a sweet story 🙂

  3. Dil On The Rocks January 7, 2017 at 1:56 am #

    That is so adorable. I always find the need to make sure kids are in right company, but it’s not always possible. But what this kid is saying and her parents are teaching her, that’s not okay.

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 7, 2017 at 2:01 am #

      Oh its worse Dil. Not to play or talk to boys at age 4, to wear a bindi but not let boys touch it( this one is so weird..But it’s what Bandar keeps insisting this girl says . Only girls can touch her bindi) But Bandar adores this kid

  4. anisnest January 7, 2017 at 2:13 am #

    that’so sweet of her.. Like you said it comes from the parents.. this influence too shall pass but our influence remains forever.. hugs

  5. jan January 7, 2017 at 2:52 am #

    That’s awesome! More power to your little one 🙂

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