Day 6 – New Year, New Me

7 Jan

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not a patient person at all. I am impatient about the small stuff,  like waiting for the onions and garlic to get sautéed as I cook before I add anything else , AND I am impatient about the big stuff too like career growth , AND all the medium stuff in between.

Add to that I married a guy, who well, really tests this weakness of mine on a daily basis, sometimes several times a day. He is even paced and takes his time with things – be it getting ready to go somewhere, getting things done around the house and so on. We do balance each other out mostly and it all usually works out. But I have to remind myself not to lose it all over patience. Because my impatience directly leads to a caustic tongue and bad temper. If I have that under control, we usually end up having fun and get the most out of life with that little balance we each bring. A perfect instance is Disneyworld with Bandar 1.5 years ago. I told myself before we left the hotel that day that I would not let my impatience spoil the day , come what may. And that self talk helped me get through. I was patient about waiting in line, patient with any delays over breakfast and leaving the hotel, patient about Bandar wanting to walk instead of the stroller, and other things through the day. Nothing got to me at all. However, I did bring that little urgency and sense of speed into the day and took us from ride to ride as fast as I could, when I could, and ensured we got the most out of our tickets.

Parenthood has taught me a lot, but the biggest lesson for me is patience. Bandar rarely recognizes my need for urgency in daily life and goes about her life at a leisurely pace. And add her dad to the scene and me on my impatient horse, and invariably there will be a fight and shouting involved. I feel this the most in the mornings as we get Bandar off to school. Her new schedule requires her to be at school at 8:30 AM and she invariably seems to be leaving the house only at 8:40ish or so every day. They talk about the day’s schedule and other things in that first 30 minutes, and I do see it beneficial for her to be there, especially being new to the environment. So I end up stressing and raising my blood pressure over the morning routine every day. And on some days there is the invariable loss of patience on my side and even worse my temper. Then the husband loses it at my impatience. Then Bandar brings on the tears and I feel I am horrible mother and wife. So wonderful start to the day all around!

So this year, my resolution in this regard is two fold : 1) Fix the situations at the root cause that make me impatient on a daily basis. This means I have to get Bandar to bed early, up early and thus, to school earlier.

2) When I find myself in these situations – Don’t lose it! Keep the bigger picture in mind. Enjoy the moments when you can. Bandar being late to preschool isn’t the end of the world. Bandar dawdling to the car after school at pick up isn’t a big deal either- if she wants 5 minutes to show me something outside her school, I should enjoy the moment before it fleets by. Us being late by 15 minutes to meet friends again doesn’t end our world – we are still going out together as a family and there is fun in that outing that my bad temper should not spoil.

All these might seem small but for me they are so hard to commit to and follow through on. But I do believe they will make for a happier me and happier household.So wish me luck with these!

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11 Responses to “Day 6 – New Year, New Me”

  1. More than words January 7, 2016 at 7:53 am #

    I was just like you until a few years back…. Keep up with those self motivation talks and before you know it you’ll be there. I still loose it once in a while and that’s fine or so I think:) Trust me parenting teaches us more than we realize !!

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 8, 2016 at 11:38 pm #

      Glad to hear you have almost thoroughly fixed yours. So it can be done. Gives me hooe

      • More than words January 8, 2016 at 11:40 pm #

        Not thoroughly fixed honey !! But yes there is hope 🙂

  2. srividhya January 7, 2016 at 9:57 am #

    First few years I was like that too.. slowly getting there. Loads of luck n wishes. You will be there too

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 8, 2016 at 11:37 pm #

      Thanks Vidhya! Need the luck as this is a daily struggle for me

  3. Arch January 8, 2016 at 3:22 pm #

    I have heard a from a lot of people that parenting teaches you patience. I really hope it does coz if I am anything like how I am now, I will be in big trouble. 😛
    I could totally relate to this post, I am extremely impatient in most areas of my life. 😦

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 8, 2016 at 11:33 pm #

      The impatience gets worse as i get older. So has to be a conscious effort to end it

  4. My Era January 8, 2016 at 5:51 pm #

    I have a fair share of temper issues and so many times I am in your boat. Parenting encourages us to push boundaries and make that positive change. I can already see you’re working hard towards your resolve.
    Good luck dear, you’re doing well 😃

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 8, 2016 at 11:31 pm #

      Thanks ME. Well , today the teacher told us we have to absolutely make it at 8:30 as she distracts the class coming in. So new challenge for us

      • My Era January 8, 2016 at 11:33 pm #

        I am sure, your early to bed, early to rise formula will work, just make the house clock 5 minutes faster 😉 and all will be on time, Monday onwards 😀

      • popgoesthebiscuit January 8, 2016 at 11:33 pm #

        🙂

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