Thoughts on a Friday

5 Sep

I am usually not one for putting down life lessons on my blog.That said, something this brought on a lot of introspection on this week so I thought I would share. So here goes.

Bandar’s preschool class focuses on a different theme each week and focuses all their reading and activities on a particular topic.This week the theme all about – “I love me”. They read books about how nice it is to be unique , how you can be your own best friend, how it is most important to love yourself no matter how you are physically. They looked at a mirror and blew kisses to and  called out a cheery greeting of – “Hey Beautiful” to their own reflections , they discussed the origin of their names and the special significance each one had, they sang modified versions of songs around – “I love me”. It’s been really interesting to read the detailed emails from her teacher talking about these activities and hearing Bandar sing fragments of these songs at home and best of all proclaim happily that apart from one other little girl at school, she likes herself the most! What great lessons for three year olds or thirty year olds for that matter! I cannot help but think that I would have benefitted greatly from this lesson growing up. As an adult I still have body image issues, still do not like my different sounding name and struggle to fit in with new groups of people.

I was always like this too growing up. In lieu of my dad’s transferrable job, I always found myself in new schools and remember distinctly asking other girls to “be my friend” and being rebuked and being sad. I still feel bad about not being able to fit into groups in the playground now. Bandar though doesn’t seem to mind much – she is quite happy playing imaginary games with imaginary friends in the play area imagining she is in a castle or ship. A few weeks ago with a  lot of pushing and prodding form me, she asked a little girl to play with and was unfazed when the girl promptly replied with a clear “No”. She simply went back to her imaginary game. Sometimes she asks to go back home to play with her toys saying she is bored. But she is definitely not running behind anyone asking them to play with her. I need to change the way I view myself and prevent my issues transferring to her. Take the case of body image : I realize I am raising a sharp little girl who is quick to catch on and I have stopped using the FAT word to describe myself in front of her. I simply tell her I go to the gym to be healthy and that’s that. Of course, she still sees me looking at my rear end in the mirror a few times a day and might even catch the critical note in my voice when I am discussing my physical appearance with the husbadoo and that is something I need to work hard on putting an end too. But all in small steps, I will get there!

Not to say that these little preschoolers won’t grow up to forget these lessons and become like a lot of the adults around them, but I can hold onto some hope here for Bandar and remind herself and I of these lessons  any time insecurity and low self esteem raise their ugly head through the years.

Anyway, enough heavy food for thought for a Friday!

Here are some random fun tidbits from our lives –

  • The long weekend is upon us and we are staying home. But its Bandar’s birthday tomorrow so we hope to do some local fun stuff and make the weekend all about her . Most weekends are about her but this one should be even more so if we can help it.
  • We are in the market for a new couch . Our old couch and love seat were so badly stained and damaged in the storage unit that we decided to replace them. I have no idea what is in and what is not. What is the deal with sectionals? In or out? I like the idea of one piece but won’t we need an extra single seater recliner or something too if we do a sectional. Do we go back to the old idea of a couch and loveseat – 5 seats in all and 2 pieces of furniture? The only clear thought I have on the purchase are that I absolutely do not want leather and do not want light colors. Apart from that I am fairly open and can’t wait to actually get to the store to look around this weekend.
  • One more point on the couch – we didn’t know how to get rid of our old set. The apartment complex we lived in told us we would probably have to pay to have some one take it to the city dumpster a few miles away. I casually asked the maintenance guys who came to our apartment for some work if they knew anyone who would want it and one guy happily agreed. He looked it over and said he would take it. What’s more he thanked me profusely which I was surprised about as I felt both pieces were awfully shabby at this point – well used for 6 years. So I in turn thanked him for taking it and said I was happy he was going to find use for it. Feels nice to know someone is hopefully actually going to use it.
  • We still have to get our license and car registration changed to the new state. So irritating. Both require time off from work and physical presence to get done. Ughh – not much choice.
  • I am having a decent Friday so far at work – maybe too soon to talk about it, I have a good 4 working hours left and things can change. I really like those week endings when all nagging little emails and issues have been resolved and you can go into the next week on a clean slate. And next week is a short one and I am travelling the week after, so I am feeling more relaxed than usual.
  • I am grocery hound – I love buying groceries, produce and then worrying about them going bad and being unable to execute meals using them in their fresh state. This weekend I have decided I am going to use my pantry and fridge to its fullest and not buy anything if I can help it. A little hard as I am totally out of yogurt which is like super important in our household but we will see. I might last the weekend.

How is your Friday going?What plans, people?Do share.

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13 Responses to “Thoughts on a Friday”

  1. More than words September 5, 2015 at 2:24 am #

    I completely agree and identify with your first paragraph of the post… I love the the way things are taught here…. Anyway coming to the little bandar, wishing her a very happy birthday…. May she be blessed with good health and happiness today and always…. Lots of love to the little one…..

    • popgoesthebiscuit September 5, 2015 at 2:46 am #

      Thanks so much , MTW. Good health aur happiness is what is most needed.

  2. srividhya September 5, 2015 at 3:16 am #

    Happy birthday to Bandar. Have a great weekend. Love d preschools here. Also they are very independent

  3. magic September 5, 2015 at 6:51 am #

    Happy birthday to Bandar 🙂 God bless.

  4. hoarderofallthings September 5, 2015 at 11:57 am #

    Happy Birthday to Bandar 🙂

  5. Bhavani September 6, 2015 at 8:44 am #

    Happy Birthday Bandar! Have loads of fun!!

  6. Dil On The Rocks September 6, 2015 at 8:52 am #

    Many Many Happy Returns of the day To Bandar. 🙂 Hope she had a super fun day.
    You know, my name is quite different too. And I am actually very proud of mine being so different 🙂 And you should be too. Your name means and sounds wonderful 🙂

  7. CookieCrumbs Inc. September 7, 2015 at 4:13 pm #

    It is lovely that they are teaching her that in school! God knows, all of us grew up with too many body image issues to count :/ And it is nice that you are making an effort to keep the negativity away, who knows, it might sort out some of the negativity you feel as well!! 🙂

    Last point = #storyofmylife -_-

  8. Deepika September 9, 2015 at 12:14 am #

    I hope little Bandar had a great birthday weekend and so did you guys 🙂

    I think it goes a great length to be aware of our issues growing up, if you’re aware as the parent you’re on the right track already. I recently came across this “kids see themselves through the parents’ (or their caregivers’) eyes” so positive reinforcement goes a long way in raising confident kids.

    PS: Sounds like you already have a taker for the old furniture but if you do need help disposing it some stores would do it for free. If you buy new pieces from them and they deliver it to your house, they’ll take the old pieces on the same trip. We did this with Jerome’s when we bought a sectional. BTW, I now regret buying it because there’s only one way it can be set up…not many practical ways to rearrange it. Also checkout Plummers (http://www.scandinaviandesigns.com/) on Miramar if you’re looking for some ideas, they carry some trendy stuff.

    • popgoesthebiscuit September 19, 2015 at 5:17 am #

      Sorry for my late response ya..we ended up with a sectional!!Now I am a little worried about how it will fit the next place!!

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