The way we are

25 Feb

So since my recent work trip, somehow the husbadoo and I have not been able to connect at all .Maybe a lot of it is in my head but the whole scenario was  bugging me and in turn made me bug the husbadoo with random statements about “connecting”. By this, I mainly mean spend quality alone time, catch up on what we missed in each other’s lives recently and during my trip, small incidents that happened at home and away and general  news and gossip and all that stuff.  We are one of those over – connected, joint at the hip couples most times and the husbadoo knows random details about most of my days like bathroom visits and snacks I ate and I know most things in his – the awesome free flavored tea he drinks at work, random anecdotes from work and so on. This is even more so since we have moved to this city and find ourselves friendless for the most part. So this kind of phase is very rare for us.

But somehow life over the last few weeks seemed to get in the way of this connection.  Poor little Bandar and her illnesses are not to be blamed really, but a lot of our together time is around her. I usually am an absolute sport about their special bond but felt pissed off more than once recently when she shunned me aside to play with her dad. So I spent time doing things in other parts of the apartment, away from them on the weekends when she rejected me the most. I was surprisingly hurt, when I usually am not by this behavior, and I turned this rejection and jealousy into anger at the husbadoo for not being supportive enough and reprimanding Bandar for her “pushing mommy away behavior”. He on the other hand, was pissed with me for being in other rooms away from them to start with. He also preferred to give in to Bandar’s random demands of him, rather than refuse or deny her, especially when she was sick and cranky. But I feel absolutely useless sitting on the couch and watching them play, and rather be doing chores elsewhere.  So there was further disconnect, and random tiffs with each other that we usually apologized for within the hour, but the missing together-time-that-we- needed  issue was not fixed. When Bandar slept, the husbadoo used the time in catching up on his sleep – as he was exhausted with all the single handed care that cranky, little  Bandar demanded of him.  During the first week or so back home, I was on the pacific time zone, so was unable to really fall asleep with them. Instead, I glowered at the husbadoo in the dark for having yet again lost opportunities to connect. I then spoilt my eye sight further by reading on my tablet in the dark. So you get the overall picture

Anyway, yesterday was a particularly depressing work day for me. Things happened, stuff was said and though I keep telling myself that it’s just a job and not something I need to lose my sanity over, I was overly upset. I called the husbadoo several times after said incidents and poured my troubled heart out. I got further depressing career related news later in the day as well and there were more calls to the husbadoo. I was filled with self doubt, embarrassment and a bunch of other emotions for most of the day. I picked up Bandar in the evening and decided to forget about work for a few hours that evening and play with her. Though it helped relax me, I still didn’t feel upto getting dinner on the table single handedly that day . So I then called the husbadoo again and asked if he could come home early and help out. He agreed at once and landed home earlier than usual. In the kitchen, as I was prepping our dinner pizzas, he gave me the warmest hug I have had in a very long time. I clung to him and did some more work lamenting. He helped put together a quick 2 minute game plan in my head and finally released me to get to his daughter.  The warm delicious pizza helped too, but the hug and his presence cheered me up considerably. He then got Bandar to sleep and came out to me in living room, where I was working. He urged me to come to bed with them and spent some time waiting for me to wrap up work. Sadly, I had too much to do, so he went off to bed around midnight and I followed two hours later and snuggled between them.

We might have to wait a few more days to catch up on the fun but important minute details of each other’s lives but maybe a lot of this disconnect is just in my head!


10 Responses to “The way we are”

  1. princessbutter February 26, 2015 at 12:33 am #

    You are being a girly girl. It’s okay! Bade bade deshon mein aisi choti choti baatein hote rehti hain! Good thing is you guys are back as you guys.
    Sheesh, hoping the career stuff is sorted out! Good luck on that.

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 26, 2015 at 9:28 am #

      Hehe…yup , eventually hope the work stuff resolves too stressed abhi

  2. srividhya February 26, 2015 at 1:26 am #

    I am not getting your posts in my reader. I dunno it happening with some other bloggers too..

    Between its just a phase yaar.. This shall pass too 🙂 Hope your work stuff resolves faster.

  3. More than words February 26, 2015 at 1:47 am #

    I hope things sort out soon on the career front … Sometimes a little gesture goes such a long way… Glad the husband was able to lift up your spirits…hope bandar feels better soon…

    • popgoesthebiscuit February 26, 2015 at 9:23 am #

      Thanks, MTW:) Bandar is thankfully better and returned to school yesterday.

  4. Bikramjit February 26, 2015 at 9:56 pm #

    time and hard work put things right.. this too shall pass my best wishes ..

    take care

  5. Kavs March 1, 2015 at 3:37 am #

    Uh oh…good luck with the work thing. I used to get totally stressed about work – I have decided that when i rejoin workforce I am going to take things easy. Glad that Bandar is better now. And your husband’s sweet gesture was just what you needed na? 🙂

    btw i totally get the being connected part – chuckled at your bathroom visits part. Same same 🙂

    • popgoesthebiscuit March 2, 2015 at 6:30 am #

      Hi kavs..hey for some reason I am unable to comment on your blogspot weird, in the verification process.Typed a looong comment and didnt go through.
      Thanks , hoping for a better work week:)

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