Day 29: In a perpetual hurry

30 Jan

My mom is an extremely fast worker in the kitchen or around the house for that matter. So the way my sister and I were raised was to do things fast, really fast. There was no question of taking your time with a task  I think that’s the reason all three of us women in the house don’t have any sort of artistic flair –  we are clumsy in any art work or project, our hurriedly cooked meals mostly turn out okay (maybe its acquired taste of the person eating it to) but we are not fantastic cooks at all , we hate any task that requires precision and time – we hand that task out to the men in our lives(!) and finally, slow people irritate us no end !  Surprisingly, we are excellent organizers , and excel at event planning, trip planning and getting people to execute . Let me elaborate – .When we moved from Texas to New York, we had no idea when our furniture and household would arrive and we had to pack winter clothing, a few utensils, Bandar’s necessities, toys,our important documents, jewelry (stuff that we could not absolutely have coming by truck) ,  gifts for cousins who we were taking ad detour to visit enroute and other things into two suitcases and I excelled at doing this. I researched , planned, shopped and even landed in NYC with the perfect stroller winter gear which astonished the husbadoo. These kind of things overwhelm him. I was terrible at was packing all this neatly and in an organized manner, which he did beautifully. So we were good! .

Similarly, my mom is great about planning how to decorate the house, buying the perfect knick knacks for every corner, planning how to organize everyone’s cupboards, jewelry etc, but it’s my dad who patiently does the actual clothes folding as per her instructions. Both me and my mom are terrible vegetable choppers – our cut pieces will never be uniform in size. We will surely be the ones to be eliminated in a  cooking show in the first few rounds for technique and knife skills, if you know what I mean. That’s where our husbands do an amazing job . But we are awesome at planning elaborate menus, dinner parties, birthday parties et al.

Regarding the bit about slow people irritating us, I remember this from fairly early on in life. When I was eight years old and I and a distant cousin were as at my grandmom’s place for the summer vacation and were assigned the task of hanging out clothes to dry. My mom came outside with my newborn little sister to get some fresh air and couldn’t bear the slow speed at which my cousin went about the task. She passed some sharp remarks and instructions to me and I went about the rest of the task at God speed and I saw her eyes fill with motherly pride. If we are at a restaurant together and God forbid the service is slow, we will joke that we should be running the show and the proceed to discuss at length how we would do it.So you get the picture.

To be fair,over the years, my mom has mellowed. She  is one of the most patient professors and is great with not so bright students but maybe that is the professional side of her. The social and domestic side of her still likes things done fast and wants her family to follow suit.

Maybe its being married to the husbadoo, who is as laid back as you can get, that I have changed a little bit. I actually stop, enjoy the moment, focus on tasks a little more than just getting them done.For instance, I have realized now that onions in food taste so much better when sauteed properly rather than hurriedly and is often worth the effort!The husbadoo I know prefers one well cooked dish , rather than a few average cooked ones and I am slowly learning to be precise in my cooking.

For me I have realized that once I make a conscious attempt not to be fast and in a hurry and to get it all done , my expectations form others around me decreases, it lets me control my temper and I am able to actually enjoy things around me. During our Disney world visit a few months ago, I realized the day before that the husbadoo and Bandar too would be unhappy and stressed if I pulled them through every single possible ride and attraction and tempers would flare. Rather, I made a great effort to control my temper and need for speed that day, came to terms with the fact that this was not a trip to get our money’s worth but rather a day to enjoy what we could in the given time.This seriously changed the way I viewed the day and I ended up having a great time.

Children automatically change you too , I think. They really make you stop and smell the roses, or sea breeze in this instance below.During our recent vacation in Bombay, Bandar loved Marine Drive on her first visit and wanted to spend more time there. My mom though wanted to touch Marine Drive more like a tourist spot that day  and take us to a specific park that she had been talking about for months. I told her that we should just let Bandar enjoy Marine Drive to her heart’s content first and we spent quite some time there, far longer than mom intended. So we were already late when we got the park. Unfortuantely it wasnt the right park that my miom had set her heart on and she wanted us to leave as soon as we got there and get to the other park across the street before the daylight faded. However Bandar was having such a fabulous time running around this unknown park that I convinced mom to calm down, smell the roses and enjoy her grandchild playing in this random park. We obviously did not make it to another park that day as nightfall came but Bandar and my mom had a great time that evening. And of course, there were more visits to Marine Drive – Bandar’s favorite spot in Bombay and the other park that my mom wanted to take us to as well.

So the husbadoo has changed me a tad and Bandar has too in her own way. And I take these little changes and gently try to rub some of it off on my mom in turn. Left to ourselves we will do things the way we are used to – a sometimes shoddy, fast job, rather than a slow,precise, perfectly done one, but we do need the laid back folks in our life to keep us balanced!

P.S. Quick Bandar update for those who have been following this week’s fever bulletin in this space – she does have a ear infection that was diagnosed today morning and has started a course of antibiotics. Hopefully they do their thing fast!

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7 Responses to “Day 29: In a perpetual hurry”

  1. Dil On The Rocks January 30, 2015 at 9:26 am #

    I am not that annoyed by the slow ppl but those who want to do a perfect perfect job that they can’t live with a really good job even, and will drag the task to no end. So annoying to me. It was like reading about the changes in me when you were describing the park incidents. I have done exactly the same m 😃

    Hope Bandar is better now. Do take care of urself too.

  2. princessbutter January 30, 2015 at 11:27 pm #

    Oh good that she is okay!
    Bang on about slow people and Disney rides and tourist spots. I am a terrible chopper and horrible suitcase packer. Gosh! 😀
    Packing for India overwhelms me. The first time I went back, my parents s were shocked when they opened my bags. Dad is excellent at that. And here, xBF was put into service Cuz of the amount of love he puts into arranging every nook and corner. His wardrobe had tees hanging on hangers. IN GROUPS OF COLOR!!
    But this time I did a quite descent job of packing.

  3. princessbutter January 30, 2015 at 11:28 pm #

    But guess what? My mom calls me ‘lemlat’ in Marathi which means super slow. You can imagine what toofan my mom is.

  4. Bhavani January 31, 2015 at 1:38 am #

    I dont consider myself either fast or perfect 😦 OMG I said it…I do things at my own pace…99% of the time the food I cook is appreciated by one and all…..but in the process I will have a super messy kitchen… I like to clean it all at the end….

    MY mom was like that too…she did things in her own pace..since she was a stay at home Mom and my dad was in Central Govt…we were pretty laid back in everything… fortunately Hubs is like that too.

    so we are one big laid back family…..and it works perfectly for us:)

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 31, 2015 at 11:04 am #

      So the husbadoo was raised similarly..v laid back calm family. It makes for laid back kids for sure. They are less tensed about almost everything in life. And seem to really cherish experiences and places etc. Stick with this and your kids will be super happy adults and that’s most important , right?

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