Day 13 – Bedtime in these parts

14 Jan

It took us a terribly long time to get Bandar to sleep tonight. First there is the  saga of teeth brushing. It starts with Bandar insisting on using only the ” non spicy” non fluoride and useless training toothpaste on her brush first , and then the application of the “spicy” paste with fluoride and Bandar refusing to open her mouth, and then a lot of cajoling, pleading and threatening from me, finally opening her mouth and making gagging noises, all the time holding the brush herself, and finally letting me barely brush her teeth, before gagging again and probably swallowing some fluoride in the process.

We then move to the bedroom and do the whole diaper change, Vicks application on her back , chest, soles of the feet to treat her perpetual colds and then we pick a few books to read.Books are read and the light goes off. We co -sleep on a large mattress on the floor(for fear that Bandar will roll off) and she insists that the husbadoo and I sleep on either side of her.Soon as the lights are off, Bandar will insist on asking for a random toy from the other room to hold, its usually a different one each night and one of us is dispatched to get it. Next comes tons and tons of talking – to us and to the toy, asking to be “walked” by the husbadoo, tons of made up stories from me, asking for water a few times, wetting her shirt a few times, changing clothes, maybe another diaper change, bumping her head against us in the dark and asking for ice… I can go on and on. At some point , one or both of us falls asleep and she follows shortly. On some nights like today , it is a lot of the husbadoo walking her on the single corridor in our apartment till she falls asleep on his shoulder.

This is all fairly embarrassing to post as she is two years and four months  now. We should have probably sleep trained her when she was a few months but we never had the heart to do it. She is tired out at the end of the day, well fed and full, and still fights sleep. Tonight in fact, she skipped her nap at school, so she must have been extremely tired. The more tired she is, the more cranky she is and the longer it takes to get her down. This is something she did right from her second day in the hospital as a new born and we struggle with it to this day. This is in fact the main concern I have with regards to having another baby. What if by the luck of the draw we get another little sleep-fighter? At this point, I heartlessly think I am going to definitively ferberize (sleep train) my next kid , but  I know that is all because it is still a hypothetical situation in my head. Even if I wanted to do it, the husbadoo with his mushy, soft heart will not agree. I had to actually wean Bandar off bottles on my India trip as the husbadoo could not even bear that minimal crying . So chances are we will be putting two little fighters to bed sometime in the far future.

At this point I am just clinging onto the hope that Bandar outgrows this behavior soon. I do not mind the co-sleeping at all. I am ready to keep her in our bed and room as long as she wants to stay. Heck, I slept in my parents room till I was 12 or 13. I just want her to take less than two hours to fall asleep.

Phew , now this tired mama is going to watch some mindless TV for a little while and call it a night.

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11 Responses to “Day 13 – Bedtime in these parts”

  1. More than words January 14, 2015 at 10:27 am #

    This post was sheer nostalgia… You reminded me of the nights that seem to be a distant memory…

  2. smdeea11 January 14, 2015 at 10:36 am #

    I can so relate to every single word. And this happens every single day. By the time Joy sleeps, I feel that its time to wake up as I too take a lot of time to fall asleep.

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 14, 2015 at 9:07 pm #

      I too take forever to sleep. On days I dont fall asleep with her. Problem is kitchen is yet to be cleaned, lunches planned and I do all this after getting out of th cozy bed at 10pm once Bandar sleeps. I am then wide awake ill 2 am and not well rested in morning.

  3. Dil On The Rocks January 14, 2015 at 1:10 pm #

    There is absolutely no need to be embarrassed at all I think 🙂 My answer to what kind of parent do I want to be is what is okay with us or what is right for us. Like, I am okay with letting my kids watch TV while they eat dinner because them not eating is so bad for me. Other moms might not be okay with the TV thing at all. If you are okay with what is happening, let her grow out of it. But, if you are not, I think kids like Bandar or Achu are perfectly capable of sleeping on their own and having some limits set. For us, crying is absolutely okay. Esp with Achu, who starts crying at every thing she doesn’t get. Once we ignore her od distract her, soon enough she figured out she cant do that and there are some limits for her behavior. But, we need to keep doing this every instance, because pushing the limits constantly is her job. 🙂 Sorry for the long comment. 🙂

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 14, 2015 at 9:04 pm #

      The thing is I am not okay with this late bedtime thing. I start the process at 8 , anything earlier is hard as she is not well fed etc by then and then it goes on till 10 pm. She sleeps till 9:30 am. I work from home and work CST hours from the east coast, so I am still able to take a break and go and drop her at 10 am or so. But it upsets me for some reason. My work is interrupted, she misses snack time everyday , her afternoon nap at school is a hit or miss and the cycle continues. The only thing I can do is get stricter about no talking once loghts are off. Lie still in silence and ignore any requests for water, toys etc. And also maybe do teeth at 7:45 as that is a full 15 min struggle. Sigh! I am okay with crying and the husbadoo can’t bear it and I feel he is spoiling her. This is a pet fight topic for us,

      • Dil On The Rocks January 15, 2015 at 3:30 am #

        I bet Bandar is a fighter like Achu. 🙂 Even Achu hates change. Her hair had to be tied certain way every time. Loose is not accepted all. 🙂

        Your plan sounds good. Murali and I alternatively sit next to kids bed during their bed time (which is 30mins-one hr 🙂 ), but their requests are not entertained. I tell them its sleep time, no talking etc. Played some music and she stopped talking soon enough. That way, even if it is one hr, I get some rest before I go to finish the rest of my chores and eat. I am sure it will get better. Don’t worry much.

  4. Kavs January 15, 2015 at 12:46 am #

    It’s an ordeal in our house as well. Even after she falls asleep the night is punctuated with her dudu sessions. As far as I remember sleep was my only weakness and with S it has become more precious than gold.
    For brushing her teeth, I let her brush mine while I brush hers. Works like a charm – at least as of now. 🙂

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 15, 2015 at 9:00 pm #

      I am going to try the teeth brushing trick today! We stopped milk in a bottle in dec , otherwise Bandar was drinking like close 32 ounces each night and never ate any food as she was filled from drinking all night long. Big change for us.

  5. Bhavani January 15, 2015 at 1:25 am #

    Both my kids were in their crib till 2 and then we moved them to their own room. It is a different story that my almost 5 yr old still sleep walks into our room at 3 AM and continues to sleep soundly pushing us around…..

    But sleeping routine has not been more than 15 mins on a week day. Brush, story and they go off to their bed. But expect me or hubs to just be in that room. So we surf or catch up with our work.

    Dont worry it will get better soon…

    Bhavani…

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 15, 2015 at 8:58 pm #

      Wow…15 min is awesome. Seriously, think kids are either good sleepers from the beginning or not.

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