Day 9 – Life

10 Jan

A few hours ago, the Husbadoo’s grandmother passed away. She was at home in Mumbai with my father in law and mother in law by her side and she did not suffer. She was 96. I burst into tears when I heard the news some time ago but I am okay now, maybe it was the instant shock. She was not doing very well for the last few weeks and though she was at home, her food intake had reduced greatly, which was not a positive sign. I am so glad that Bandar and I got to spend time with her during our India trip last month. I spent the first two weeks at my in laws’ home and Maa, as we all called her was waiting for Bandar to arrive. She loved to sit up and watch Bandar play around. Bandar too was very gentle when she played with Maa and I will savor those mental images I have of them playing and communicating in their own way.

Maa became weak towards the end of my India trip and she was a very different person when I saw her again before we left. I do not want to remember her like that but as the strong lady I had the fortune of knowing for over five years since our wedding. I want to remember her dancing at our Sangeet, waiting at the airport to receive me before my wedding with a bouquet of flowers and a big smile on her face, her sudden jokes on the phone and her quiet, peaceful, smiling face as she watched us on Skype.

She was a homeopathic doctor, she taught the husbadoo how to swim when he was a child, she took the train to her clinic till she was in her late 80s and did a lot of the cooking at home till a few years ago. She encouraged women to work and had zero expectations about women in the kitchen and my mother in law feels so blessed to have married into her household. I do too, in fact! When I was pregnant with Bandar, she was positive that Bandar would be a girl and kept saying she had seen the baby as Goddess Lakshmi in her dreams.

Bandar got to meet her twice. Once on this recent India trip and once at the age of 9 months. On my way over from my parents’ place to see Maa with Bandar for the first time, I had given Bandar some new formula to drink in her bottle. Bandar much preferred me feeding her, but it had been hard to do so on that particular drive over. So formula it was, which she drank after some hesitation. Maa and Bandar stared at each other unblinkingly for a few silent minutes and then Maa looked at me and said very clearly in English –“She is telling me that she does not like the milk you gave her”. I was too stunned to reply. How did they communicate? Telepathically? I guess this is one of life’s mysteries to which I have no answer.

So with that little incident, I am going to end today’s post and spend some time today thinking good, happy thoughts of Maa.


8 Responses to “Day 9 – Life”

  1. More than words January 10, 2015 at 4:25 am #

    She sounds like an amazing person … May her soul rest in peace… Hugs and prayers for you…

  2. magic January 10, 2015 at 9:12 am #

    Feels like she was an amazing person… Hugs too you…

    RIP grandma.

  3. Kavs January 11, 2015 at 2:31 am #

    So sorry for you and your family 😦 grandparents are precious, keepers of one’s childhood I feel. Just lost my grandfather and 3 months since can’t come to terms with it.

    Your grandmother in law sounds a wonderful person – she got to spend time with Bandar, I am sure it gives you peace. Take care you guys.

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 11, 2015 at 8:02 am #

      Yes, hard to accept for some reason. Maybe because we are here and away from everything at home. I think it will hit both the husband and I a lot when we go to India next time and don’t see her.
      Yes, the recent trip gave me a good set of memories which I hope to share with Bandar some day when she’s older.

  4. Little Fingers January 11, 2015 at 2:59 am #

    I am so sorry to hear about this loss. She seems to be an amazing person and so advanced looking at her generation. Hugs to you, I hope you feel better soon.

    • popgoesthebiscuit January 11, 2015 at 8:04 am #

      Thanks Lifi. Funnily enough , life goes on despite the grieving in the back of your mind the whole day.

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