A glass of milk

24 Jul

My mom like other moms the world  around , worries about her kids. This worry is sometimes unfounded and over the top and manifests itself in many ways. I was always the girl whose mom called to check where we were even if i was a few minutes past curfew. I have written about some of this here before.
Off late, especially as I live a few continents away,  the worry is a series of instructions related to my health and well being . In my early 20s , I always classified this is nagging. But now that I have Bandar , I actually think I understand her concern more. I came to the conclusion in my postpartum recovery period that my mom probably cares for me more than anyone else in the world does. This to me was apparent when I had a long line of family visitors stay with us after my mom , from both sides and the care I received though not non existent was really minimal. Granted I was past my 6-8 week recovery phase too, but still.  I have had candid conversations with the husbadoo about this and  finally after a lot of persuading he phrased it as she cares for me ‘differently’ than anyone else does. In our relationship and marriage we have always considered each other strong and able and always think the other can shoulder the responsibilities we are dealt. In my mother’s eyes I am always her baby, her firstborn ( maybe the firstborn part makes no difference) and all she wants to do is mother me and ensure my well being. Its exactly what I feel for Bandar and I doubt I will think differently when she is almost 30. So it was during this postpartum phase that I stopped getting irritated with her instructions and stopped thinking of it as nagging.Of course , it did not mean I followed her advice.

When she was visiting us here in May, she was shocked to see I did not take heed any of her phone instructions. 
She made this list for us before she left and put it up on our fridge with our magnets.She addressed it to both the husbadoo and I.

Take a look.

image

Does any of this seem excessive? I don’t know – maybe 3 glasses of milk for 2 adults ??When she was writing it a few hours before she had to leave for the airport, I shrugged and thought as usual it was going to be advice we won’t follow but  let her continue writing it anyway.  I read it only after we got back from the airport and felt a few tears prick my eyelids as somehow I felt her love radiate from this piece of paper towards me. You see, my dad is the hugger in the family. We girls are very expressive with him but not with our mom. That is just how she was raised. My nine yards clad granny would have a fit if any of her girls tried to hug her ever and my mom though is of course a step better but only just. Our hugs and kisses are quick brushes of hands and lips and our “love yous” are scant at the end of phone calls. But this piece of paper somehow meant something to me. My cousin visited recently and saw this and burst out laughing at her aunt ( my mom). Somehow that really upset me and I got very defensive about the whole thing.
Anyway,for this first time on my almost 29 years I have tried to follow some of this. I see this list on the fridge and it makes me smile as I go about my chores. I might be putting away Bandar’s packed lunch box the night before and I see this note and pour myself a glass of milk and smile and think about my mom for a few minutes . And today I am writing this post sipping on my glass of milk .

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17 Responses to “A glass of milk”

  1. princessbutter July 24, 2014 at 11:53 am #

    This is too cute. All you people with husbands and kids and in general with people to cuddle with, must stop writing such mushy stuff! I want my mommy, daddy, Moony and…….
    But seriously, too cute…..

    • popgoesthebiscuit July 24, 2014 at 7:19 pm #

      Awww..set up a long Skype session and make yourself some nice comfort food if the next visit is too far off:(
      Been there!

      • princessbutter July 24, 2014 at 8:02 pm #

        I am planning to go in Dec. I have to get stamping anyways. You know, I dont let my mom and dad kiss me. I have always found it weird lol. Only on special occasions it is allowed like when I used to leave for hostel after a long stay at home or while leaving India. Haha. My mom has to tell me that she is going to give me a kiss before I let her.
        PS Am I the only one to wonder what has been scratched off in that note?? 😀

      • popgoesthebiscuit July 24, 2014 at 8:57 pm #

        I might got in Oct – Nov. Stamping too. Didn’t realize you were in a hostel..assumed you were a localite and studied in pune. My mom is like that about kissing and hugging only for departures . Arrivals too sometimes.
        Oh regarding the scratched out bit she wanted us to get Bandar to sleep early but we had discussed before that earlier than 8 :30 am makes no sense for us. Even with that she is up at the crack of dawn. So mom remembered and scratched that out. I further scratched out Bandar ‘s top secret real name before I took this pic.

      • popgoesthebiscuit July 24, 2014 at 8:58 pm #

        8:30 pm I mean

      • princessbutter July 24, 2014 at 9:07 pm #

        Haha. Okay. I was picturing everything naughty that a Tam Brahm lady would NEVER suggest to her daughter. Hehe.
        I studied engg in Lonavala. So I stayed in a hostel there. We would come home every weekend though.

      • popgoesthebiscuit July 24, 2014 at 9:36 pm #

        Haha..laughing at that. .naughty stuff indeed. If that were the case it would have been exploited as blog fodder:)

  2. glimpsesandglances July 24, 2014 at 12:30 pm #

    Very cute 🙂 Had to de-lurk after reading this.

  3. Pepper July 24, 2014 at 5:59 pm #

    So touching! My mom is quite the opposite.. we can’t live without hugs and kisses. Even with my dad, hugs and kisses flow.

    So I find it quite interesting to note how love manifests in different ways even sans the hugs. This is so beautiful. Hold on to that glass of milk.

    • popgoesthebiscuit July 24, 2014 at 7:21 pm #

      Ya, It’s taken me a while to realize that this is love and I am holding on fast!

  4. Kavs July 25, 2014 at 3:29 am #

    Mom’s love 🙂 isn’t it the best that to a mother her child is always a baby?

  5. Zarine Mohideen July 25, 2014 at 11:55 am #

    This is too cute! Moms are the best.

  6. Dil On The Rocks August 5, 2014 at 1:51 am #

    How cute. Loved that she left that note for you. Sounds like everything my mom (and dad) would say. My mom wrote labels on containers when she was here with me. Even though, I don’t need the labels now, I kept them. I know that feeling of watching the writing that brings a smile on your face.

    • popgoesthebiscuit August 5, 2014 at 9:51 am #

      I know what you mean by the writing evoking memories and making you smile:) So true

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