Day 21 – TV time together 

22 Nov

So for the first time in forever both kids were in bed by 8:40 pm and we didn’t have work to do.Rather we choose not to work m Instead we slacked off on the couch and caught up on an episode of “This is us”. We are only on season 1. Anyway this has literally never happened before and it gives me the hope that we can perhaps make it a once in a month thing at least if the babies cooperate.

In other news Bandar remains sick and lethargic after even a little play at home , with low grade fever and I continue to worry about her. At this point we are definitely looking into going into Thanksgiving with this worry unless it miraculously breaks tomorrow and she is herself .

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Day 20 – This too shall pass

21 Nov

So hard to be happy today. But I am going to make an attempt. 

I feel my poor family of four has been plagued with health issues for the last several months . Some minor, some major. One after another we have all been victims . Today ,just when I was congratulating myself on a day well done without any family support ( my in laws left for India yesterday and this is my new life as a working mother of two ), Bandar started a fever. So now we deal with separating her from Beetle much to her despair and then I have the added worry of trying to keep the husbadoo fit and not catching it as his immune system has taken such a beating recently . And then our nanny is sick / recovering but complaining constantly about her health so I have no faith she will show up tomorrow. So I am living on edge right now wondering if I will be able to go into work or have to cancel my meetings . 

I had to force myself to break away from the worry and think positively about life . My kids will be fine , my husband and I will be fine and healthy . My kids will grow up strong and healthy and go to college at some point and these illnesses will not be something with everlasting effects. I took a long shower with tea tree shampoo to invigorate my senses and made myself a cup of tumeric milk . I am now on the couch  working for a bit before bed and I will soon go check on my babies. This too shall pass and we will survive. Say it with me .

Day 19 – Snuggles and Smiles

20 Nov

The thing with having two kids is that you always feel you are being unfair to one of them in the attention department. At least I do. When Bandar is around , she naturally demands our attention . To be fair it is also a lot of fun palying and interacting with her at this age and I often find myself engaged in conversation and imaginary play with her even when feeding Beetle. So for the last few weekends I feel I have just been going through the motions with Beetle- the feeds , the naps, the outings. It also has a lot to do with Beetle’s  personality. While Bandar was really a baby who needed a lot of  walking and holding and interaction , Beetle is usually content chewing at her fingers and cooing to herself if she is fed and changed and I  have spent many an hour offlate  working on my laptop with her by my side and only having really minimal interaction .But today I actually got a lot of  one on one time with Beetle and that totally made my day. 

My in laws took Bandar out for a walk with them.I got through some morning chores and the husband , Beetle and I landed on the couch and clicked some selfies . We played and passed Beetle between us and overall just really enjoyed her for a good 15 minutes without interruptions. Then in the evening the husbadoo and bandar went to the airport to drop off my in laws and I was left with Beetle for about two hours. She was awake for most of it and I had no chores to do or office work to get through and I just completely enjoyed her toothless mesmirizing smiles and this funny shy look of hers – she looks at you and smizes and then turns away. It’s the cutest thing ever.

Dearest lovely beetle – please know that you are a much wanted and much loved baby and the perfect fit for our small family  . Mom and dad adore you as much as we do your sister and really feel so so blessed that you chose our house to be born to. We look forward to a lifetime of your snuggles and smiles 

Day 18 – Productive 

19 Nov

Today I woke up with a huge to-do list and barring one thing ,they all got done miraculously.

– The house got cleaned ,not really by me but I rather enabled the cleaner to clean well by picking up before she came. As this is at 7 am in the morning on a Saturday, it’s quite an achievement in my book.

– I was teaching the bhajans in Bandar’s spiritual class today and practiced them shrilly all day for the evening class. When the time came to do it though , after bhajan 1 which I sang loudly and fairly well, I was told it was in the wrong tune and that I should repeat after the main teacher. My guess is it wasn’t really bad singing but I had injured a few souls when I didn’t show up for practice as instructed to last weekend ( it was either a 2 hours practice session to teach kids the week for  about 10 minutes or to feed my own  after kids and I choose the latter ). It also wasn’t like I just didn’t show up , I sent  a super polite email saying why I couldn’t make practice. Anyway despite their every attempt to embarrass me in front of the whole class of kids and their parents , I  kept my cool and kept smiling and my gaze fixed on Bandar, who thankfully is too young to be embarrassed by her mom. I frankly didn’t even feel shame for maybe slightly singing off tune , I really couldn’t even catch the difference between what I sang and what the teacher sang. I was just glad to have someone else take it over and be done with my volunteering turn . Maybe I would have felt bad if singing was my livlihood but it isn’t and I guess their standards to teach a bunch of five year olds is way too high . They just lost themselves an eager parent volunteer for the future though , so their loss. 

– Baklava got made and packed for my in laws to take back to India.

– Indian groceries got bought . I will back to the kitchen after my mil leaves tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it.

– Got some special time with Bandar and the husbadoo..it’s a few more minutes here and there. A cuddle , a story, some tile building  for Bandar. A laugh, a joke , some flirting with the husbadoo but with our current chaotic lives I will take what I get.

– I finally had a relaxed chat with my baby sis. I forget she is in the same country as me now! 

-Office work got done.Beetle is seriously the most cooperative baby and let’s mama work on the laptop when she feeds. She is getting into the super distracted during feeding mode and if I so much as tap the keyboard loudly she will look up and give me a toothless smile. Anyway it’s nice to go into Sunday without having to open my laptop if I wish.

Day 17 – End of the week mishmash

18 Nov

So many random thoughts..some happy , some not

  •  Just when I think my nanny needs some stern talking to about some recent behavior , she shows up with gifts for the baby . Her main redeeming quality is her affection for my kids and maybe that is all that matters.
  • Just when I start the last day of the work week on a positive note and pat myself on the back for a week well done, the day is randomly spoilt by a negative incident in the last 10 working minutes and this will worry me all weekend long. Such is work life.
  • Just when I think I got through 10 successful pumping sessions  at work this week, I end up being pissed off with another pumping mom for her incredibly selfish behavior and ignorance of ground rules for nursing room sharing and say something mildly to have her now pissed off me with. For the first time ever I now have someone who actually  dislikes me at work. Fun stuff. 
  • Just when I think I got ahead of making baklava tomorrow by pulsing nuts , sugar, cinnamon tonight , I realize there are shards of plastic in the mix ( most likely a lone spoon in the sugar that got pulsed too) and now have to trash the nuts and sugar to start from scratch tomorrow .

Day 16 – Finding my thing

17 Nov

A group of us at work were discussing  the other day how it’s so important as a parent to have one or two special things that you do for yourself. Most of us on the team I am in ,easily work 50 plus hour weeks , and though it seemed infrequent before , almost every week brings the same level of craziness offlate. Then we all have 2 plus kids at home , all less than age 8 and it is so easy to go through the motions on a daily basis and turn around to realize heck , you are old ! So my friends all shared what they had started to pursue in their “me time “. The activities were so varied – jigsaw puzzles, sewing , zumba, guitar playing  , tennis and the most interesting of all – ice cream making. My colleague explained how after a hard day at work he unwinded by making home made ice cream. He then asked us for our favorite flavors and got us some over the next few days . He  gave each of us a pint! So I am sitting with my creamy wonderful bowl of pistachio ice cream for the second night in a row and pondering what my thing should be. It clearly can’t be exercise – that is a lot of work. It’s not cooking , I am finding it less enjoyable off late. I took up knitting once and it was fine. Embroidery was okay as well though I havent picked it up in a while. I was part of a book club in NYC and I miss it so much. I realize I haven’t read a single good book in 2017. I reread some chicklit but that was all . Maybe I should start a book club here . It could be writing – I dream of being a fabulous author writing by the beach and making a living of it. But again don’t think I am creative enough for it.I like reviewing food ,but then with two kids in my life , I either have to arrange babysitting to go out with my favorite meal companion the husband or leave him home with the kids .So I really don’t know my thing and really would like to find it. So I am  going to make an actual list of things to try out for a while until one just clicks for me . 

What’s your thing ?

Day 15 – Lessons from a little old lady

16 Nov

So today started with me having to go drop of my car at a body shop for repairs from a minor incident . I had to then be picked up by the rental company and driven to get my rental car . The guy who picked me up told me we had to stop by another body shop and get another customer who was also renting a car . I was slightly pissed as it meant I would now be delayed , though he assured me it would be all of 5 minutes. When we got to the location to pick up the customer , I saw this old lady in a navy blue teeshirt and pants, a head of untidy hair and a smile with several teeth missing . But her smile was so infectious despite the missing teeth . The driver opened the car door for her and she thanked him profusely for just that simple act. He then asked her how she was doing. She answered with – “You have actually made my day. I just got off the night shift and I am not used to people being kind to me “. I then jumped into the conversation to learn she worked the night shift at Walmart , and had done so for 20 years ! She was used to sleeping during the day and said she actually had it lucky as a lot of the people working night shift with her actually worked a morning job and didn’t sleep at all ! And here I was complaining  about my white collar job  that I had to get to and  baby that woke me up predictably at night! My problems seemed so small. She thanked the man for picking her up , saying how thankful she was for not having to walk as her feet were hurting from stocking deliveries last night. She commented cheerfully  on the view of the hills beyond the busy road and said it was one of her favorite views of the area . Once we were at the rental store , I realized she did not have a credit card or a phone number. So she placed a cash deposit down for the vehicle , and had to give two references. She pulled out a small address book and rattled off her daughter’s phone number and struggled to think of a second reference. Her process took double the time that others like I took but she didn’t lose her cheery attitude even once. I left before she got  her car but I am sure she was  well taken care of by the store employees. Hers was a nature you wanted to automatically help.

I thought about her and others  like her as I drove to work . So much of our life is a privilege that we take for granted .  The picture she posed is really  the way  majority of the population lives on a daily basis – two jobs , hard jobs , no sleep, no phones . People like us are truly a small percentage of the population and we tend to forget that . So what I did after this life lesson today was complain a little less and smile a little more and that helped me get through the day with a jog in my step.